Glitterati Gossip

Lifestyles Scores Free Publicity

Lifestyles Condoms has reportedly approached Miley Cyrus to see if she'd like to be their new spokesman. I'm sure they did that because they thought that she'd be interested in the job, especially after the Vanity Fair debacle. I mean, they wouldn't be so devious as to offer her the gig because they knew it made such a punchline that all the entertainment news outlets would pick it up, right?

Miley Cyrus says she wants to be taken more seriously by an adult audience, but LifeStyles Condoms wants to harness Cyrus' appeal to her younger audience ... by encouraging tweens to embrace safe sex.

Classy!

The prophylactic peddler wants the 15-year-old singing sensation (who has professed that she will be a virgin until she gets married) to be its new spokesperson and is willing to offer Cyrus $1 million to shill its brand.

Via NY Daily News.

I'm Sure That's Exactly What Happened

Amy Winehouse has been released from the hospital following a "medication mix-up." That's all, just a little mistake, a bad reaction to one of her totally prescribed and legitimate drugs. Yep. Totally on the level, folks.

Winehouse, 24, was taken by ambulance from her home in north London to the University College Hospital on Monday night after suffering what was believed to be a seizure. Wrapped in a red blanket, she was taken to the vehicle in a wheelchair while her dad Mitch looked on.

The setback was part of her struggle to get clean, the rep insists. (Both the singer and her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil, 26, have a history of drug problems.)

"She was taking a new [medication] as part of her anti-drug treatment program," says Goodman. "And it was an adverse reaction to that new drug. You have to try different things but unfortunately this was not the right one."

Man, being Amy Winehouse's rep has to be a bit of a challenge, right? Do you think Goodman had to stand in front of a mirror, delivering that BS until he could do it with a straight face?

Via People.

Best Accidental Birthday Present Ever

Man, royals. I wish we had them over here, their mistakes seem so much more adorable than anything we've got. Like, say, mistakenly booking a Dita Von Teese for your son's birthday party.

The generously-eared royal [Prince Charles] met the gothic flasher at the toff-infested Cartier International Polo Tournament at the Guards Club in Windsor, London. Charmed by her alabaster assets, he asked what she did for a living and Dita, 35, replied: “I’m a dancer.” This vague job description failed to convey that her act involves giving a rhythmic biology lesson in a giant martini glass and doing the sort of things to a massive olive which are illegal in most countries.

Perhaps buoyed by the sun and Pimms and presuming her performance involved a cheeky Charleston, Chazza invited her to perform at Prince Harry’s 24th birthday. Our man said: “Poor Charles was so embarrassed when he realised what he’d done. He genuinely had no idea about her raunchy stage act. She was stunned when he suggested the idea, explaining that his son loved a good dance.

Is that sitcom material, or what? They could call it "The Prince and Me" and it could be all about the wacky antics that Dita and Charles got in together. Sort of a "Jeeves and Wooster" with boobs.

Via the Daily Star.

It's A Great Day For Boobs; CBS

Remember about a billion years ago when that whole Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction deal happened? Yeah, we'd pretty much forgotten about it too. The U.S. Court of Appeals still remembers though, and they've decided (rightfully) that CBS is not to blame for Justin Timberlake being kind of a dork.

A U.S. appeals court on Monday overturned a decision to fine CBS Corp television stations $550,000 for airing a brief breast flash by pop singer Janet Jackson during the 2004 Super Bowl.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit said the U.S. Federal Communications Commission "arbitrarily and capriciously departed from its prior policy" that exempted fleeting broadcast material from actionable indecency violations.

Suck on that, FCC.

Via Yahoo.

Can We Really Call A Madonna Sex-Tape A Shock?

Okay, so some sleazy cameraman claims he has a video tape of Madonna getting it on with A-Rod. There's a good chance he's full of crap, but does anyone else question the Daily Star's use of "shock" in their headline? Would it actually be shocking to you that someone taped Madonna having sex, either with or without her knowledge? Really? Shocking or not, the whole thing sounds pretty shady/unlikely to me.

He is demanding a fortune for the footage he claims was shot with a hidden camera in an apartment allegedly used by the pair for secret afternoon trysts.

Last night Madonna’s lawyers said they were “aware” of the lensman’s claims but were not commenting. Legal experts said there was no firm evidence the video existed.

Via the Daily Star.

Kim Cattrall Takes Remarkable Sane Stance On Aging

I can't say that I use the words "Kim Cattrall" and "remarkably sane" in the same sentence very often, but it's warranted here. Kim, who's 51 by the by, has made it clear that she's absolutely fine with being 51, and she's not about to get her cheeks stapled to the back of her head in a vain attempt to look a few years younger.

‘I had a great time in my youth and I still feel youthful. But I’ve no desire to look as though I’m in my 20s,’ Kim, who played Samantha in the hit US show, tells the Daily Express.

‘I don’t think I’d try plastic surgery. I’d be too frightened I’d end up not looking like myself. I don’t want to look in the mirror and see The Joker from Batman staring back at me!’

Kudos to her. There's such intense pressure on Hollywood actresses to keep a youthful look, and there's nothing wrong with ignoring that. I think it's better to look 50 at 50 than to look 40 at 50 and like a Halloween fright mask at 60.

Via NOW.

Seriously, Michael Savage, What The F- Is Your Problem?

I guess it's a stupid question, the truth is, his problem is that people pay him to say things like, "autism is a fraud" and then other people think that's funny. Still, as much as I'd like to pretend I'm not appalled, I totally am. What makes a person think it's clever to act this ignorant?

I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, ‘Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.’

You can experience all 90 seconds of Michael Savage's autism rant, here.

Via Mollygood.

 

Monday's Child Tastes So Good, She Makes A Grown Man Cry

Shannon Doherty will be appearing on the new 90210, thus answering the question, "I wonder how hard up for work Shannon Doherty is."

Khloe Kardashian spent a whopping 173 minutes in jail, so her jail time was not (as I earlier asserted) no different from a trans-atlantic flight, it was actually no different than the movie on a trans-atlantic flight.

Tada! Ask and ye shall receive. It's pictures of Jennifer Garner's baby bump.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but just in case: Never invite a member of Warrant to your wedding.

Justin Timberlake apparently peed a little when he met Michael Jordan. Hey, that's better than the guy from "Sheer Genius" who peed when he met "The Real Housewives Of Orange County."

John Cleese is dating a woman half his age. At least people will believe her when she says that he makes her laugh.

Britney looked remarkably together at a Generation Rescue Event with Jenny McCarty and Jim Carrey. Carrey, on the other hand, needs to ditch the buzz cut pronto.

The Blessed Brangelina has left the hospital with parents in tow, so we can all look forward to a lot of blurry tabloid photos coming at us.

Looks like that big crossover career that Jessica Simpson imagined isn't working out. Country fans don't seem to be in love with her.

Dwight Schrute Does The Weather

I'm not sure how or why Rainn Wilson got the gig to do the weather on CNN as a promotion for his upcoming film "The Rocker," but I declare it awesome. Remember when Jerry Seinfeld was doing promotional stuff for "Bee Movie" and he was unavoidably everywhere? This is like that, only actually funny instead of annoying and kind of desperate.

Terry Gilliam Is His Usual Diplomatic Self

Terry Gilliam is a big fan of the late Heath Ledger, but he's not the biggest fan of Warner Brothers. As is his typical style, Gilliam went about communicating his opinion in a moderate, forgiving way.

"That's what Warner Brothers are saying, but they'll do anything to   publicise their film," says Gilliam who was directing Ledger in The   Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in January only days before the   Australian actor died at the age of 28 of an accidental prescription drug   overdose.

"That's just what they do and you can't get upset because it's bull----.   They're like a great white shark which devours whatever it can."

The image of Warner Brothers as a kind of Jaws of Hollywood is strangely compelling. Maybe Gilliam can use that in his next film.

Via the Telegraph.

Britney and K-Fed Reach A Settlement

I've been hesitate to credit Britney's latest bounce-back, but who knows, maybe she's really getting her shit together. Of course, I think some serious therapy is a better idea than going back into the studio to record another album, but at least she's taking some steps in the right direction. Rather than drag themselves and the kids through a tedious court battle, Britney and her largely useless ex Keven Federline have reached a custody agreement.

K-Fed's longtime attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, exclusively tells E! News the divorced duo have reached a settlement in their long-gestating custody case.

According to the agreement signed by all parties, Federline gets sole legal and physical custody of sons Sean Preston and Jayden James and Spears will have visitation rights.

"The case has been settled," Kaplan said. "The court still has to approve it. " Both parties are due in court Friday morning.

I'm not sure K-Fed is the most awesome parent in the world, but hopefully he'll hire good nannies.

Via E!Online.

Another Day, Another Flip Out From Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Today's emotional breakdown courtesy of Jesse Jackson and the N-word. It's totally unclear whether Libby is pissed that he can say the word and she can't, or if she thinks nobody can say the word, or if she just wants to be the ultimate arbiter of what's okay. I thought Whoopi did a good job of not saying, "you're an idiot, Elizabeth, that's why you can't understand this. Because you're dumb. In the head."

Friday's Child Thought They Meant Real Bobcats

Since no one is watching her TV show, Denise Richards is headed back to court to bother Charlie Sheen. Blah, blah, emergency protective order, blah blah. Even Denise Richards has to be tired of this crap by now.

Speaking of things we're tired of, ladies and gentleman, Tom Cruise! Who, by the way, couldn't get his Nazi movie into theatres if his life depended on it.

Heath Ledger's uncle has apparently been arrested for stealing Bobcat tractors. Yes, more than one. I can't imagine what he's was going to do with them.

The Daily Mail questions whether this is the most hideous outfit ever. I think it's just fine as long as she's just about to appear on American Gladiators.

Ways to make sure the Blessed Brangelina Twins turn out weird #42: Hire Wyclef Jean as a babysitter.

I know this will be a painful shock to some of you, but occasionally tabloids make up stories about famous people. Yes, even John Mayer.

The guys who arrested Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright swear up and down that they were just doing their jobs. Which leads one to wonder what exactly their jobs are.

Maxim is now making a lame-ass attempt to suck up to Sarah Jessica Parker. I guess she's sexy now that she had that mole removed.

Today's Prego Rumor Courtesy of Bennifer 2.0

Is there another little Affleck in the works? Jennifer Garner has been seen wearing loose tops a lot lately, and people claim she's been holding their toddler Violet in a position to conceal a potential baby bump. Also she's being stalked by an eight foot tall stork carrying a "congratulations on your little bundle of joy" ribbon.

Now comes another possible clue...

The two were spotted together Wednesday at an L.A. obstetrician's office to meet with a doctor.

Garner sat in the reception area reading a magazine, but when Affleck arrived, they were almost immediately called in to see the doc.

Reps for Garner and Affleck are not commenting one way or the other.

Via E!Online.

Hayden, Step Away From The Microphone

Do you remember when actresses were satisfied just being actresses? I miss those days. In those days, every starlet with musical ambitions didn't pump out a banal single of their mediocre singing, complete with crappy music video. Hayden Panettiere of "Heroes" seemed like such a sensible young lady. She's not out getting drunk and partying every night, her only arrest is for trying to protect dolphins, and she's cute as a button. Why does she have to take all that goodwill and burn it up on this?

Seriously? I mean, that's a step away from Heidi Montag on a beach right there. She couldn't have hired someone to write her better lyrics, at least? It looks like something a 15-year old would scribble on Facebook when she was pissed at her boyfriend.